EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 25 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 24 Supporting children of emergency service workers You won’t be the only one who may notice changes in your emergency services worker. Your kids will too, and they may need help to understand what is going on. Children of emergency service workers grow up in a unique family environment. Some children may worry about their caregiver’s safety when they are at work or not understand why their caregiver sometimes behaves in a different way when they return home from volunteering. When parents or caregivers miss big celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, or school events this can be upsetting and confusing. Concerns may be intensified by exposure to news reports and discussions with peers at school. It’s vital to recognise that children of emergency service workers may face additional struggles. Children might also mistakenly feel responsible for their parent’s struggles. Communicate to your child that the changes they observe are not their fault. If your child is acting out or struggling, initiate a conversation to understand their experiences without passing judgement. Having age-appropriate discussions with children will help them to understand what their parent or caregiver’s emergency service role involves and what keeps them safe can ease worries. It may be helpful to take children on a tour of the unit or station and show them response vehicles being sure to highlight the safety equipment that lets the emergency services worker do a dangerous job but helps to protect them from getting hurt. Make sure to choose an appropriate time to start a conversation and have several different conversations over time and not all at once. If your conversation is met with resistance, it may be best to keep the conversation short and come back to it later. Be as honest and open as you can be in an age-appropriate way. Sometimes stories help to explain the work of an emergency service worker. Ask at the bookstore for such stories or look online. There are plenty available. Help your child to understand that moods and feelings can fluctuate. Let them know it’s important to ask for help if they are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or upset. Encourage them to open up and listen without judgement. ESFs Flourishing Families mood map for children can help kids identify how they feel without having to put it into words. Initiating a conversation and connection Provide reassurance Explain why emergency services work is important and what emergency service workers do to protect the community and help people. Relate this back to their life and the things they do to help others. Outline what a typical day at work looks like for an emergency services worker. It is not all dangerous. Explain how the clothing and tools emergency service workers wear at work and the safety training they receive help to keep them safe at work. Show the child the uniform and any tools used at work. Explain how colleagues work together as a team and protect one another. It may even help if they meet some of the people you work closely with. Talk about the media and how it often focuses on and repeats bad news, and this is not an accurate representation of the work you do. Share any good news stories from work. Explain that sometimes your work is stressful and show them where you sit on the Mental Health Continuum sometimes after a stressful day. Helping children understand what you need when you get home from a hard day will help them to understand your behaviour is due to work and not them. Explain that sometimes I’m grumpy, sleepy, or quiet and just need some time to rest and recharge but it is not your fault. Provide connection Explain why sometimes, mum or dad may miss big celebrations such as birthdays, Christmas, school events or other milestones. Help children understand the purpose of your absence. Try not to make promises you may not be able to keep, this could lead to disappointment. Reassure children that they are loved, and it makes you sad too that you miss events sometimes. Prioritise spending quality time one on one when off duty. Choosing an activity that your child enjoys is a great way to connect. Maintaining a strong relationship will make your child feel more connected and more likely to express how they feel. Make time to be truly off duty. -unable to be paged or turn out so that you can spend un- interrupted time with your family. It is good for you and your family to have brief times when your emergency services work does not come first. Encourage discussion of their feelings and fears. Children often find it hard to put into words how they are feeling. Creative activities like art, storytelling and dance can be a powerful way for children to express themselves. Try and seek out someone children can speak with who understand the challenges emergency services work can have on families. Support for young people and parents With open communication and a balanced prioritising of emergency services work by the parent, most children of emergency services workers are just fine. In fact, many of them feel proud of the work their volunteering caregiver does for the community and it is a great way of modelling personal characteristics such as self-lessness, care and community spirit. However, there may be times when families of emergency services worker would benefit from external support and there are several services that may be helpful.
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