Families Guide A resource for families of Victoria Police employees
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 3 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 2 Contents 1. Introduction 2. It’s a job with a difference. 3. Why is mental fitness important? 4. Things to remember. 5. The role of families 6. Recognising the early warning signs 7. The mental health continuum model 8. Supporting Victoria Police employees - Initiating conversations - Building a support crew - Prescription for wellbeing 9. Taking care of yourself 10. Supporting children of Victoria Police employees 11. Help is available Acknowledgement This resource has been developed with reference to: Military and Emergency Services Health Australia BC WorkSafe Beyond Blue Ambulance Victoria The findings of ESFs studies, and the families of emergency service workers who provided valuable feedback on the content.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 5 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 4 Understand how family can support Victoria Police employees. Recognise the signs of mental distress. Support and talk to your children about Victoria Police employees. Support and talk to the Victoria Police employees in your family about how they have been impacted by the work they do. Know where to go for help if you or the Victoria Police employees in your family needs it. Introduction Families play a vital role in supporting Victoria Police employees to be mentally fit for the important work they do in serving our community. This Guide is intended to support families of Victoria Police employees. It has been developed with input from partners, children and other relatives who have experience living with a Victoria Police employee. We listened to their stories and have tried to address their needs and concerns in a practical way. No one is an island. We know the stress and strain from trying to integrate many roles can have a negative ripple effect into family life, yet Victoria Police employees often rely on their family to support them to do important Victoria Police work, whether it be in preparing the community, responding to disaster, or supporting the recovery process. ESF has spoken to many Victoria Police employees, and has learned that despite the challenges, most who serve as Victoria Police employees are strongly committed to their community and their role. Families share their commitment and are usually keen to support their family members who are Victoria Police employees. They often feel a real sense of pride in the work their loved one does, and they generally want to know more about how they can support the wellbeing of their family member. Families of Victoria Police employees live with unpredictability, call outs, deployment, and the fear of major incidents. There is growing recognition that what affects the Victoria Police employee invariably affects their relationships with partners, children, and other family members. Families are often left to keep the domestic show on the road when the Victoria Police employee is absent on callouts, deployments, training or shift work, often with no advance notice – in this way, families serve too! ESF’s research showed that more needs to be done to support families and this is just the start. This guide will help you to: 1 2 4 3 5
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 7 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 6 It’s a job with a difference. In Victoria, almost 22,500 people are Victoria Police employees in addition to their other important roles as parent, partner, carer, child and friend. It can be very demanding and potentially stressful at times juggling and trying to balance the demands of each role. The nature of being a Victoria Police employee means they may be exposed to potentially traumatic events. They may also experience a range of common workplace stressors typical in any workplace, such as excessive workloads, inadequate support, interpersonal conflict, and bullying. All these things have the potential to impact the personal wellbeing of a Victoria Police employee and, through association, their family. We all need to be mindful of the things in our daily lives which have the potential to negatively impact our wellbeing. We need to ensure mental fitness is a priority - take care of our minds, just as we take care of our bodies. Why is mental fitness important? It is important to know the difference between mental fitness and mental illness. Mental fitness recognises that our mental wellbeing fluctuates up and down, this may even occur within the same day. At times we feel great – welcoming the challenges of life and meeting them with vigour and strength. Yet there will also be times when we find ourselves feeling a bit down, sluggish, and impatient. Mental illness on the other hand is how mental health professionals diagnose people whose mental fitness has fallen below a defined level. Some examples of mental illness are generalised anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). People often self-diagnose as having PTSD, but it is an illness that must be diagnosed by a mental health professional. It refers to people who display a unique combination of significant symptoms that last for 1 month or more after and incident. Mental fitness as a sliding scale, often depicted using colour ranging from green to red, is a helpful way of supporting emergency services families to think about mental wellbeing. The more mentally fit we are the more we can adapt to changes that naturally occur in life, such as moving to a new house, birth of a child, death of a parent, change of career. Ideally, over time our brains help us to cope with such stressors in our lives as we learn to think, feel, and act in more helpful ways in response to the challenges we face. Young children and even adolescent’s brains are very early on this lifelong journey of learning how to respond to challenges in effective ways, so changes can be particularly difficult for them. Experiencing emotions such as sadness, worry, or anger is a normal part of good mental health. Feeling stressed does not mean you don’t have good mental health. In fact, some level of stress is required for optimal performance in any aspect of life. It is normal for a Victoria Police employee to feel emotion when reacting to a tough situation. Soon after dealing with a tough situation, one would expect to experience some difficulties with sleep, mood, concentration, frustration in others and general irritability. This does not mean they have poor mental health or PTSD. How will you know it is time to connect with outside help? A key point to remember is that everyday distress does not require professional treatment. We can flourish amid stress by drawing on healthy coping strategies such as exercise, relaxation techniques, time enjoying hobbies and the support of those around us, like family and friends. In times of significant, prolonged, or repeated stress, you can use your own coping mechanisms. You may also add in extra professional help, such as a support group or meeting individually with a professional. There are numerous evidence-informed options you and a professional can employ together to get you back on track. Like physical fitness, mental fitness is not just important for our volunteering or paid work but benefits all aspects of our lives.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 9 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 8 Potential exposure to trauma and life-threatening events Exposure to workplace stressors (workloads, limited support, shift work & bullying) Deployments away from home Balancing the demands of many roles Involvement in major incidents either in the response or recovery phase Fatigue Day to day pressures (health concerns, job security, financial worries, relationship issues) Things to remember. Often it is families or loved ones who are the first to notice concerning changes in behaviour or mood of their Victoria Police employee. The sooner you seek help, the less support is needed and the more likely you are to recover quickly. Like physical health challenges, the sooner mental health challenges can be addressed the better. Prevention is better than cure, we want to address a headache before it become a debilitating migraine. Three things to consider when thinking about connecting for support. Individuals experiencing low mental fitness can turn this around with the appropriate support from family, friends, the workplace, and health care professionals. Families in particular, play a vital role in breaking down barriers and enhancing the likelihood of their Victoria Police employee loved one seeking support. There is undoubtedly stigma around mental health amongst Victoria Police employees, but this need not be the case if mental health is thought of the same as physical health. We would have no hesitation in seeking help for a fractured limb or unexplained pain. And we should have no hesitation seeking help if we are feeling a decline in our mental health. Are things (signs and symptoms) getting worse or more persistent? 2 Have you noticed a change in yourself or has someone you trust mentioned they’ve noticed changes in your behaviour or mood? Are your experiences starting to interfere with your daily living, home life, relationships, parenting or at work? 1 3 Wellbeing challenges come in all shapes and sizes.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 11 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 10 The role of families We like to think of home as a safe place – and in the case of an Victoria Police employees, a place to relax, process and recharge once the uniform comes off. Supporting the Victoria Police employees in your family can be challenging at times. They can work long hours, unintentionally bringing work-related stress home, and can be more susceptible to reduced mental fitness. As someone who interacts with the Victoria Police employee daily, family members play a key role in supporting their mental wellbeing. This support involves recognising signs and symptoms of poor mental wellbeing, engaging in conversations about these challenges, encouraging healthy practices, understanding available resources, and prioritising your own wellbeing. Communication can be difficult for Victoria Police employees, especially when they are hesitant to discuss work-related matters. This lack of communication can contribute to their disconnection and isolation from primary support systems. While there’s no one-sizefits-all approach to healthy communication, ideally families should discuss and establish boundaries and expectations together. Each family needs to find the right balance between sharing all details associated with Victoria Police work and saying nothing about the Victoria Police work. Both these extremes are unhealthy, but the right balance will be different for each family and potentially change as children age. Recognising the early warning signs Usually, Victoria Police employees go through a stressful encounter and have no problem bouncing back within a few days. Debriefs and reflective practice at the station/unit often help. However, every person and every stressful encounter are different, and individuals will react to each encounter differently. Some of the factors that impact the reactions a person might experience include: • Current stress levels outside of the encounter including paid work pressures, health concerns, financial worries, and relationship challenges. • The past operational experiences of the Victoria Police employees • Unique characteristics of the encounter such as whether children were involved or whether the casualty was a person the worker knows – which is often the case for use people working close to home. The key to recognising early warning signs is being aware of changes in someones usual mood and behaviour. Keeping a diary may help identify patterns and triggers. Encourage your loved one/family member to consider seeking help if they are experiencing any of the following: • Difficulty sleeping, including frequent nightmares or night terrors • Unwanted thoughts or feelings that affect concentration • Flashbacks • Persistent fatigue • Loss of interest in usually enjoyable activities • Irritability or impatience toward others • Excessive substance use such as to alcohol, illicit drugs, or abuse of prescription drugs • Excessing engagement in ‘distracting’ behaviours such as gambling, pornography, or work • Self-insolating behaviours, including a lack of interest in social connection • Misplaced feelings of hopelessness, shame, or guilt • Not prioritising of important relationships • Neglecting personal care and hygiene
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 13 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 12 •Angry outbursts or aggression •Excessive anxiety or panic •Depressed mood • Hopelessness •Signigicant di cult managing emotions •Poor tolerance to stress •Frequently reactive to others •No enjoyment or complete disengagement from work and hobbies •Di culty managing emotions •Intrusive thoughts •Poor motivation/ focus •Unable to keep perspective •Negative attitude •Social withdrawal •Poor self-care •Disturbed sleep •Significant fatigue •Physical ailments •Poor performance •Reactive to emotions • Irritable/Impatient •Lowered tolerance to daily tasks •Loss of enjoyment from hobbies •Low motivation • Procrastination •Di culty sleeping •Reactive to others • Indecisiveness • Inconsistent physical activity •Feeling tired •Normal mood fluctuations •Recover quickly from stress •Able to take things in stride •Enjoy hobbies • Self-aware •Normal sleeping patterns •Physically and socially active • Consistent energy levels HEALTHY NORMAL FUNCTION REACTING COMMON & REVERSIBLE DISTRESS INJURED ILL CLINICAL DISORDER, SEVERE & PERSISTENT IMPAIRMENT SIGNIFICANT FUNCTIONAL IMPAIRMENT NEEDS SELF CARE & SOCIAL SUPPORT ENGAGE PROFESSIONAL CARE The Mental Health Continuum We all have good days and bad days and on any given day we can find our mental fitness goes up and down. It is impacted by internal changes (what we think and how we feel) and also external changes (news we might hear. people we interact with and situations we find ourselves in). Although everyone’s signs and symptoms are different, there are some common indicators that many people experience. Noticing some of the more concerning signs and symptoms in your loved one may be an indicator that they may need some help. If you feel comfortable to do so, you could try opening up a conversation if they are willing. The mental Health Continuum illustrates some of the variables impacting wellbeing, including our mood, attitude, behaviours and habits. It is a helpful selfassessment tool that can be used to evaluate mental fitness. THINGS TO REMEMBER • The Mental Health Continuum is a way to understand how we move along the spectrum of wellness. • It is not designed to be diagnostic, but to provide a simple way to understand how you may be functioning and what to do. • Most of us fluctuate between the green and yellow zones quite normally as a result of daily life challenges. • Sometimes we may have an event (such as grief or loss) that can move us into orange for a while. • We tend to use our own resources and social supports to move back towards green. • Sometimes this isn’t enough and we may need extra support. • If we find ourselves in the orange zone and we aren’t getting better, or symptoms are getting worse and you think you are heading towards the red zone, enlist professional support sooner rather than later WELLBEING SERVICES: 1300 090 995 ACACIA CONNECTION: 1300 364 273 TPAV EAP: 1300 361 008 BLUESPACE: www.bluespacewellbeing.com.au This is an abridged version. It highlights some common experiences but is not comprehensive.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 15 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 14 Supporting Victoria Police employees Don’t be afraid to say what you see! Having a trusted person say that they have noticed a change in us can be what gets us thinking ‘I need help’. The earlier that someone seeks help, the less likely their condition will develop into something more serious. Initiating a Conversation It’s not uncommon to feel uncertain about discussing mental health and worry about saying the wrong things. Here are some constructive phrases, derived from the experiences of individuals who have experienced low mental fitness, which are particularly helpful during challenging times. These statements aim to create a conversation where someone feels heard, understood, and hopeful about the possibility of improvement. “ I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately, are you doing OK?” or “I’ve noticed this change in you…, are you alright?” Telling people, the change you’ve noticed shows them you care enough to pay attention. It may also help them think about changes they have been trying to ‘fob-off’ or minimise. “I’m here for you.” Expressing explicit support and commitment during recovery can be immensely comforting to individuals dealing with anxiety and depression, who often feel isolated. “ I can see this is a really hard time for you.” Validating the difficulty of the experience is one of the most helpful things you can say. Avoiding statements that shut down the conversation, such as “I know how you feel” or “You’ll be alright,” is crucial. “ I’m not sure what to do, but I’m sure we can figure it out together.” Acknowledging that you may not have all the answers but are committed to staying and helping figure out a way forward is important. “ Are there resources or people (at Victoria Police) I can contact for us?” Request permission to reach out on behalf of your family member, allowing you to discover available supports that may be in place. “ What would be most helpful for you right now? Encourage honesty about how you can provide support. Recognise that their needs may change throughout their recovery, so be flexible in your assistance. “ It sounds like you are in a difficult period right now.” Promote hope by reminding them that diminished mental fitness is normal and often seasonal, and with the right support, most people recover. “ Have you thought about seeing your doctor or calling the employee assistance program?” Emphasise the significance of seeking professional support. While friends and family can offer substantial support, professionals play a crucial role in promoting mental fitness and fostering recovery. “ Are you considering suicide or self-harm?” Don’t hesitate to ask this question. If the answer is affirmative, express gratitude for their trust, reassure them of your love and support, and help in connecting immediately with crisis support. *Derived in part from “What to say and why” by Beyond Blue Another good reference for speaking with people about mental health concerns is the RUOK guide available here. Typically, people say ‘I’m fine’ when you first show concern. Don’t give up. Be sure to ask again.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 17 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 16 Building a support crew Everybody needs a team of people that are there for you in times of need. They are responsive to your different needs – practical and emotional - and work to keep you on the road or get you back on the road if needed. Family is usually the key support crew of Victoria Police employees, but not the only ones. Encouraging your loved one to build a support crew and knowing who they are can be really helpful. Who are your support crew? It is important to assemble and nurture your crew before you need them. Once you have identified who your support crew are, let them know how important their relationship is to you. It could be a useful activity for each family member to identify, list and reflect on the individuals who provide support in their lives. For example: • Who do you get practical support from – the person who mows the lawn, brings a casserole, or takes you to an appointment? • Who do you get emotional support from – the person you feel comfortable talking openly and honestly with about your concerns and who you know will provide a non-judgemental response? • Who do you go to for information – the person who can help you ‘navigate the system’ to get the answers you need? • Who builds your esteem – the person who makes you feel good about yourself? Prescription for wellbeing Being mentally fit and staying that way takes effort. It is called self-care. We all need to do it but too often our busy lives get in the way. Prevention is the best medicine and helps build resilience to stress. We are all unique and need different things to make us feel supported. You won’t know if you don’t ask, ‘what do you need right now?’ Some examples of self-care may be: • Having someone to talk with – professional or otherwise • Releasing emotions through creative expression • Practicing relaxation – yoga, meditation, mindfulness • Proper sleep • Balanced and nutritious diet • Having a support crew to call on • Taking a break – time away from work (physically AND digitally) • Being physically active • Making time for activities or hobbies you enjoy • Getting out in nature – ‘feeling blue - go green’ • Nurturing your spirituality • Bringing focus to positives in life no matter how small – reminding yourself on a daily basis what you are grateful for • Not being afraid to seek professional help Remember, some individuals may need space to privately process their Victoria Police employment experiences, and some may want to protect their family from the details. Be patient and understanding. Remind them of their strengths and the important role they play in protecting the community.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 19 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 18 Taking care of yourself The stress of the job doesn’t affect only the Victoria Police employee, it can also impact families. Family members must prioritise self-care to effectively support their loved ones. Seeking your own support, whether from trusted family or friends or a professional, can be beneficial. Mental fitness challenges in one family member can impact the entire family, making it wise to seek support for the family as a whole if required. It’s crucial to recognise that your own needs are equally important as those of your Victoria Police employees. If you’re not well, supporting someone else becomes more challenging. Know your boundaries. Decide what you are comfortable hearing about the job and make sure that is understood. Maybe have a code word to bring the conversation to a stop if you are feeling uncomfortable. Acknowledge your feelings and understand you’re not alone Experiencing a range of emotions when a loved one is struggling with their mental wellbeing is natural. Many people face similar challenges and navigate a complex mix of emotions. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise. Expand your knowledge Invest time in learning more about wellbeing. This effort will enhance your understanding of your loved one’s experiences and provide insight into what they might be going through. Maintain Connections It’s essential to stay connected with friends and family. Open up to trusted individuals about your experiences and lean on your support crew when needed. If you’re unsure where to turn for support, there are some resources listed at the end of this guidebook. Prioritise Self-Care Taking time for yourself is crucial. It allows you to recharge and gain a more balanced perspective on any challenges you may be facing. Schedule opportunities for relaxation, enjoyment, and personal time away, enabling you to return to your loved one with a healthier outlook. Remember, caring for others is only sustainable when you have taken care of yourself first. Consider the following tips. 1 2 3 4
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 21 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 20 Supporting children of Victoria Police employees You won’t be the only one who may notice change in your loved one who is a Victoria Police employee. Your kids will too, and they may need help to understand what is going on. Children of Victoria Police employees grow up in a unique family environment. Some children may worry about their caregiver’s safety when they are at work or not understand why their caregiver sometimes behaves in a different way when they return home from working for Victoria Police. When parents or caregivers miss big celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, or school events this can be upsetting and confusing. Concerns may be intensified by exposure to news reports and discussions with peers at school. It’s vital to recognise that children of Victoria Police employees may face additional struggles. Children might also mistakenly feel responsible for their parent’s struggles. Communicate to your child that the changes they observe are not their fault. If your child is acting out or struggling, initiate a conversation to understand their experiences without passing judgement. Having age-appropriate discussions with children will help them to understand what their parent or caregiver’s Victoria Police employment involves, and what keeps them safe can ease worries. It may be helpful to take children on a tour of the unit or station and show them response vehicles being sure to highlight the safety equipment that lets the Victoria Police worker do a dangerous job but helps to protect them from getting hurt. Make sure to choose an appropriate time to start a conversation and have several different conversations over time and not all at once. If your conversation is met with resistance, it may be best to keep the conversation short and come back to it later. Be as honest and open as you can be in an age-appropriate way. Sometimes stories help to explain the work of an Victoria Police employee. Ask at the bookstore for such stories or search online. There are plenty available. Help your child to understand that moods and feelings can fluctuate. Let them know it’s important to ask for help if they are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or upset. Encourage them to open up and listen without judgement. ESFs Flourishing Families mood map for children can help kids identify how they feel without having to put it into words. Initiating a conversation and connection Provide reassurance Explain why Victoria Police work is important and what Victoria Police employees do to protect the community and help people. Relate this back to their life and the things they do to help others. Outline what a typical day at work looks like for a Victoria Police employee. It is not all dangerous. Explain how the clothing and equipment Victoria Police employees wear at work and the safety training they receive help to keep them safe at work. Show the child the uniform and any equipment used at work. Explain how colleagues work together as a team and protect one another. It may even help if they meet some of the people you work closely with. Talk about the media and how it often focuses on and repeats bad news, and this is not an accurate representation of the work you do. Share any good news stories from work. Explain that sometimes your work is stressful and show them where you sit on the Mental Health Continuum sometimes after a stressful day. Helping children understand what you need when you get home from a hard day will help them to understand your behaviour is due to work and not them. Explain that sometimes I’m grumpy, sleepy, or quiet and just need some time to rest and recharge but it is not your fault. Provide connection Explain why sometimes, mum or dad may miss big celebrations such as birthdays, Christmas, school events or other milestones. Help children understand the purpose of your absence. Try not to make promises you may not be able to keep, this could lead to disappointment. Reassure children that they are loved, and it makes you sad too that you miss events sometimes. Prioritise spending quality time one on one when off duty. Choosing an activity that your child enjoys is a great way to connect. Maintaining a strong relationship will make your child feel more connected and more likely to express how they feel. Make time to be truly off duty - unable to be paged or turn out so that you can spend un- interrupted time with your family. It is good for you and your family to have brief times when your emergency services work does not come first. Encourage discussion of their feelings and fears. Children often find it hard to put into words how they are feeling. Creative activities like art, storytelling and dance can be a powerful way for children to express themselves. Try and seek out someone children can speak with who understand the challenges Victoria Police work can have on families. Support for young people and parents With open communication and a balanced prioritising of Victoria Police work by the parent, most children of Victoria Police employees are just fine. In fact, many of them feel proud of the work their loved one does for the community and it is a great way of modelling personal characteristics such as selflessness, care and community spirit. However, there may be times when families of Victoria Police employee would benefit from external support and there are several services that may be helpful.
EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE | 23 | EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 22 Help is available Family members should be aware of where to direct their loved ones for resources and support. Victoria Police typically have an array of resources available to support the mental wellbeing of workers and their families. Additionally, there are various community support options available to the public. Victoria Police specific support resources Wellbeing Services (24/7/365) 1300 090 995 Confidential wellbeing support through Welfare Services, Police Psychology, Peer Support, Chaplaincy and Internal Witness Support. These supports are available to all employees, veterans, and their immediate family members in an ongoing capacity. Employee Assistance Program (EAP) 1300 364 273 (Acacia Connection) Providing confidential counselling for employees and their immediate family members. Bluespace Wellbeing www.bluespacewellbeing.com.au Providing external internet access to wellbeing supports and practical resources for all employees, veterans, and their families. Equipt App A free wellbeing app for your mobile device via the App store or Google Play. It is designed for all employees, veterans, and their families. TPAV EAP 1300 361 008 Providing confidential counselling for employees who are TPAV members TPAV BlueHub www.bluehub.org.au TPAV is providing a specialist referral service for trauma related mental health for all police and protective services officers. Police Veterans Victoria www.policeveteransvic.org.au Providing confidential peer support for Victoria Police veterans and their families. In addition, there are several community services available such as: • Your GP • School welfare department • Responder Assist - a place of mental health information, resources and training for emergency workers, their families and the professionals who support them. • Lifeline - a national charity providing all Australians experiencing emotional distress with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. 13 11 14 • Beyond Blue -free mental health service that provides someone to talk with. • Fortem Australia - free support for first responders and their families • Black Dog Institute - for a free evidence based smart phone app ‘Sleep Ninja’ to help young people with sleep problems and general information about caring for friends and family who work in emergency services. • Headspace – online mental health support for adolescents, young adults, and their parents • ReachOut – online mental health support for young people and their parents • Kids Helpline - free (even from a mobile), confidential, 24/7 online and phone counselling service for young people aged 5 – 25 call 1800 55 1800.
| EMERGENCY SERVICES FOUNDATION FAMILIES GUIDE 24 Emergency Services Foundation PO Box 281, McCrae, VIC 3938 ABN: 79 836 849 617
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